Okay, so I’ve gotten a lot of messages over the last few weeks asking for a post on relationship advice, so here’s my quirky take on that.
1. Stop Drunk Crying: When I first entered the college world, I had a huge problem with this and I think there’s a large sum of us that are just as guilty. But let me tell you, drunk crying is basically what ruined my previous relationship and I learned the hard way, which in turn allowed me to grow up and get my shit together. After asking a few guys about this topic, they said that drinking to them is a time to relax and have fun, not prepare to wallow in your tears all night. If you’re a notorious drunk crier, it’s going to stress your man out the second he sees you take a sip of a drink. How did I get over this? I simply had to force myself to stop. And guess what, eventually I loved NOT drunk crying so much that I actually did stopped. Now, get some tequila in me and I’m bound to cry for no reason whatsoever, so yeah, no tequila for me!
2. Making Food Is Always A Good Idea: No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a housewife and cook three meals a day at your man’s discretion, but making treats for after work or after class or for the weekend is never a bad idea. Lots of couples, including myself, like cooking with my significant other, so we choose to make dinner together every day. But, I know if I go out of my way to make him lunch for the next day or make a special treat “just because,” they’re bound to be thankful for it!
3. If You Don’t Like Messy Guys, Sorry, Just Deal With It (Sometimes): I’ve always had pretty high anxiety when it comes to certain things being put away and what not, but I’ve learned that I have less anxiety when I don’t count on other people to do it for me. Now, I will say that my boyfriend is a pretty good roommate and he understands the things I do and don’t like him to do and I am very thankful for that, but I do also understand that many guys aren’t as quick to pick up on that kind of stuff. Some advice? Have your guy do just a few small tasks so he understands you expect some things from him. Examples: make the bed; put his shoes away; help with dishes. If someone just naturally wants to be messy, there’s probably not a whole lot you can do to change that, that’s all them!
4. Words Of Affirmation Are A Must: I’ve heard many girls and guys say they feel cheesy saying they like something or that something makes them happy, but saying this directly to your significant other is the easiest way to boost that person’s confidence. Say they do make the bed, even if it’s not an awesome job, say, “There’s seriously no better feeling than coming home to a made bed, thank you so much, I love when you do that!” From there, hopefully they’re smart enough to see your reaction and continue to do those things, and maybe even more!
5. You Never “Owe” Anyone Anything: In previous relationships, I used to think along the lines of I’m doing this for you, now what are you going to do for me? In a good relationship, you should never think this way because half of the time the other person may not do something back immediately or they will and you’ll expect that every time. You need to just know that it’s a relationship for a reason, you do things for each other and all-in-all it evens out over time.
6. There’s A Very Good Chance He’s NOT Going To Cheat On You: I can’t speak for guys, but every girl’s worst fear is that your man is going to leave you for another lady. Here’s the thing, every time you cry or complain about him possibly finding a girl who is more attractive, and skinnier, and has a bigger butt, or is a lot more fun than you, he’s probably not doing that so stop accusing him. Trust is so, so, so, key! Guys are going to talk to other females because they’re humans too who like to have conversations, not start sucking their face mid convo. I know there are those few guys out in the wild who would indeed do that, but majority of the time that’s not what’s going to happen. So, slow your roll, tell yourself how smokin’ hot you are, and give your man a big smooch!
7. Don’t Snuggle-Sleep If You Don’t Like It: Real love is when you both appreciate each other enough to simply not snuggle-sleep but rather, just sleep on opposite sides of the bed so you can actually sleep. Yes, yes, there are those out there who are actually sleep-snugglers and I applaud you because that’s basically everyone’s “relationship goals,” but I just can’t get down with that, I need my space! The reason I put this one on the list is because if you’re not getting an optimal amount of sleep, you’re going to be cranky, and then it’s hard to follow all the other rules I posted above! So please, if you need to, just sleep on your own side of the bed.
I could go on and on, but these are definitely my top few things I try to follow, and so far, they’ve worked out great! For those of you who have asked for this post personally, feel free to message me and I’d love to chat!
Sincerely,
Dr. Kait
2. Making Food Is Always A Good Idea: No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a housewife and cook three meals a day at your man’s discretion, but making treats for after work or after class or for the weekend is never a bad idea. Lots of couples, including myself, like cooking with my significant other, so we choose to make dinner together every day. But, I know if I go out of my way to make him lunch for the next day or make a special treat “just because,” they’re bound to be thankful for it!
3. If You Don’t Like Messy Guys, Sorry, Just Deal With It (Sometimes): I’ve always had pretty high anxiety when it comes to certain things being put away and what not, but I’ve learned that I have less anxiety when I don’t count on other people to do it for me. Now, I will say that my boyfriend is a pretty good roommate and he understands the things I do and don’t like him to do and I am very thankful for that, but I do also understand that many guys aren’t as quick to pick up on that kind of stuff. Some advice? Have your guy do just a few small tasks so he understands you expect some things from him. Examples: make the bed; put his shoes away; help with dishes. If someone just naturally wants to be messy, there’s probably not a whole lot you can do to change that, that’s all them!
4. Words Of Affirmation Are A Must: I’ve heard many girls and guys say they feel cheesy saying they like something or that something makes them happy, but saying this directly to your significant other is the easiest way to boost that person’s confidence. Say they do make the bed, even if it’s not an awesome job, say, “There’s seriously no better feeling than coming home to a made bed, thank you so much, I love when you do that!” From there, hopefully they’re smart enough to see your reaction and continue to do those things, and maybe even more!
5. You Never “Owe” Anyone Anything: In previous relationships, I used to think along the lines of I’m doing this for you, now what are you going to do for me? In a good relationship, you should never think this way because half of the time the other person may not do something back immediately or they will and you’ll expect that every time. You need to just know that it’s a relationship for a reason, you do things for each other and all-in-all it evens out over time.
6. There’s A Very Good Chance He’s NOT Going To Cheat On You: I can’t speak for guys, but every girl’s worst fear is that your man is going to leave you for another lady. Here’s the thing, every time you cry or complain about him possibly finding a girl who is more attractive, and skinnier, and has a bigger butt, or is a lot more fun than you, he’s probably not doing that so stop accusing him. Trust is so, so, so, key! Guys are going to talk to other females because they’re humans too who like to have conversations, not start sucking their face mid convo. I know there are those few guys out in the wild who would indeed do that, but majority of the time that’s not what’s going to happen. So, slow your roll, tell yourself how smokin’ hot you are, and give your man a big smooch!
7. Don’t Snuggle-Sleep If You Don’t Like It: Real love is when you both appreciate each other enough to simply not snuggle-sleep but rather, just sleep on opposite sides of the bed so you can actually sleep. Yes, yes, there are those out there who are actually sleep-snugglers and I applaud you because that’s basically everyone’s “relationship goals,” but I just can’t get down with that, I need my space! The reason I put this one on the list is because if you’re not getting an optimal amount of sleep, you’re going to be cranky, and then it’s hard to follow all the other rules I posted above! So please, if you need to, just sleep on your own side of the bed.
I could go on and on, but these are definitely my top few things I try to follow, and so far, they’ve worked out great! For those of you who have asked for this post personally, feel free to message me and I’d love to chat!
Sincerely,
Dr. Kait